Stepping out of Comfort Zone

Yest i was reading conv with god .. and he was saying things like .. it's ur life.. and soo many people after a certain age.. stop their growth.. their mental growth..and that this whole life .. our whole purpose is to just grow... if that's the case.. why is it that everytime a new experience comes abt all we want to do is run away from it... we say NO.. we don't wish to get out of our comfort zone and reach out for that experience.. we dont trust that we are capable to deal with whatveer this new exp has to teach us... and then we hold ourselves back.

wow man... i was just thinking... wouldnt it be awesome if we were to look on every single thing in life.. not as a big deal of this and that.. but just an experience and a wonderful opportunity to grow.. to be more than we are now.. to learn something new abt ourselves.... i was just super high after reading all that.. and could feel this ache in my heart to want to scream to want to run free and wild away from all those traps.. and embrace life and all that it has to offer me... like WOW man.. there's soooo much to do ... and i don't mean literally doing.. but just soooo much to grow.. and that's waht's exciting... looking ahead and seeing what u wish to put there.. what u wish to create there... and i was all high by that....THIS IS MY LIFE man... and I WISH TO GROW TO A LEVEL THAT I CAN"T RECOGNIZE ANYMORE... as my lifes motto is to live a life that inspires me... and that's what i wish to tell everyone... this is ur life... how would u wish to live it... how would u wish to celebrate it.. how would u wish to embrace it... what would you like to paint in it.... as u are holding that paint brush.. with all the freedom in the world.. to create anything u want.. and simply coz u want it.. there's noting more exciting than that :)

So start painting away......

Listening is the best gift u can give yourself

Wanted to share this with you for a long time yaar.. but then never really got down to doing it.. as i was lost with what i had actually gained from the whole encounter... but these days.. I'm truly appreciating a small thing called "listening" to others.. i mean truly listening.. like every word they are saying is valuable to me and my life... and not simply hearing the words.. A friend of mine always used to ask me how I could listen for hours to someone telling me the problems of their life.. and so far.. all i can say.. is that those people's sharing has made a huge contribution to my life... it's expanded my world my views on things.. and I feel a great sense of honour.. that they are letting me in.. into their lives.. into their world.. and it's a wonderful feeling .. coz in that one moment.. when the other person is talking.. u feel like u are part of their world too :)

something had happened a few days ago and somehow it's been STUCK like a bug in my mind.. and something in me was telling me that i need to write abt this... but since I didn't know what my stand was.. i never really got around to doing it.. and somehow.. i feel i can't just be at peace until i get it out :):)...

I was in this cab.. on my way back home.. it was quite late.. and my luck has always been good that i get these really amazing cabby's who loves to talk abt the things happening in their life... i was telling him that it was my bday.. and he wished me.. and told me that his daughter's bday was a few days before mine.. He told me that he went n bought an expensive cake.. and called his son to come home so that they all could celebrate his daughter's bday together.. at the stroke of 12... and then later that evening.. he get's an sms from his daughter saying that she's out with friends.. and so can they cut the cake on some other day.. and he told me.. that the other day never came.. and he threw that cake away. Felt really sad on hearing this... could feel that ache in my heart.. and could feel and sense that hurt in his voice... he went on to tell me abt how when his daughter was a kid.. she would get up all excited on her bday.. jump on his bed to wake him and and drag him to the cake shop to buy the cake.. and couldn't wait for her mom to put that candle on the cake.. couldn't wait to blow out the candle.. and feed her parents that small piece....when he was done.. i had tears in my eyes.. n wished I had some words to tell him something ...

that one encounter.. has taught me a lot... I'm quite close to my parents.. but I guess sometimes.. as all kids.. i used to get bugged by the nagging.. and all.. but that day something shifted in me completely.. and all that nagging didn't bother me anymore.. and all i could see in them.. was just love for me.. like from the time i was a kid and held their hand to walk.. till now... from their point of view nothing had changed.. i was still that same kid to them... and I found that I was able to see things from their point of view.. n started to have loads of fun at home... joking around.. just like i did with friends... and it's sooo amazing to see that smile on their face at the end of the day...It just lights up your world... I guess its hard for parents.. to watch us grow up and to let us go... their entire life revolved around us.. and to have that suddenly change.. i guess... can be quite taxing on them... prev it's just exams, studies.. etc... and now when all that's gone.. what's left?.. and i guess that's the questions that haunt them... and have this desire to feel like they are needed...

While on the other side.. why do we suddenly change as we grow up... ? I see some kids who are embarassed being with their parents... emabarassed to have their parents drop them.. "NOT COOL" to be staying with parents etc... why?... these are the same parents that we adored and admired when we were kids.. all we ever wanted was to spend time with them.. playing.. we would wait excitedly for them to come back from work .. to spend some time with them... weekends were meant to be time with parents.. outings... zoo.. etc... n how come suddenly when we are older.. all that changes?.. Yeah these were some questions that troubled me when i see some of the youngsters these days...

I'm now no longer sure where i was lost... but all i can say..... the cabby telling me that story.. somehow left a mark in my heart.. and something that I'll carry with me forever...... and yeah... it gave me an opportunity to make a difference to my parents life at another level..... and for that I cannot thank the driver enough.... I told him.. that if ever i were to sit in his cab.. near his bday in May.. i would treat him to a bday cake :):)... I do hope that i bump into him soon.. or bump into many such guys... and I will be all ears... coz I never know.. when my world is abt to expand yet again......

A Small Gesture

I just had a wonderful day, wanted to tell you abt the incident that I had with the cleaning aunty (lady who cleans the dustbins and cleans our desks) and the drink stall ladies downstairs(who sell coffee).......

Since I used to come to office really early ... i always used to spend some time greeting them and somehow they used to strike up a small kindof chit chat with me that used to make my day.. and i wanted to give them something before i left as a thank u..:):)... so I went hunted around.. couldn't find anything so went n got them a cup.. and a small chinese thing that they can keep on their table... then i found it soo odd.. like how to gift it to them... i got a chinese friend to write "Thank you" in chinese wrapped it in a small bag and awkwardly gave it to the aunty... she was sooo stunned... her eyes lit up.. with the other hand she touched her chest.. and went "For ME??".. then i said yes aunty.. for you.. i just wanted to tell u thank u for making my day... then she looked speechless for a while.. and then turned to the chinese lady who was beside me and told her in chinese to say thanks to me... but that moment that expression on her face when she realized that i had given her a gift.. that moment.. is going to be a sweet memory forever in my heart....then i went to a friend's cube and got another gift for the indian cleaning aunty as well...and gave it to her...

Then i wrapped the other small chinese things in a small white paper wrote thanks on it.. and went down to that cafe... and went to the corner of the cafe.. and kindof slowly called that lady over.. she looked puzzled.. and i quietly gave her that gift.. and her whole face changed... i told her.. that they've been sooo amazing.. and wonderful.. and so this was just my small way of saying thanks.. then i asked her if that other lady.. who's usually very talkative and friendly.. is there.. and then i went to her.. and gave her that little something... she was like.. immediately.. there's no need for this... then i was feeling uncomfortable all over yaar.. wanted to like run away from that place... but just stood there.. as i felt running away would look odd.. then that lady with the pony tail.. calls me and says.. come let me treat u to that fav drink of yours... then i'm like noooooooooooo .. i just wanted to say thanks.. dont treat me for anything.. then she's like nvm u'll be here for a week right.. i'll catch hold of you sometime and treat u to one coffee :):)

All the above activities happened on monday... then tuesday when i come to work.. the indian cleaning aunty.. comes to my cube and passes me this very very nicely wrapped photo frame... beautiful... it's small cute.. but i'm was totally touched by that.. and had tears in my eyes after she gave me that gift... then this morning.. i had come early to work.. so both were asking me.. we thought u are quitting why are u coming to office at 7am... then i said i have loads to finish and have to get it completed as soon as possible.. and that most probably they'll be seeing more of me as I told my boss that I would come back for the next 2 weeks to help out with the workload.... then that chinese aunty.. comes .. cutely holding a small box.. all wrapped up.. and she puts it in my hand... i'm like noooooooo aunty i really don't want this.. pls u people shouldn't have given me a gift... then she's like holding my hand out.. placing the box in my hands.. and saying keep it.. i opened it.. it's a very cute cup.. then i went n told her aunty.. the cup was tooooooo good... and the smile that she gave na.. was sooo swweet.. from her heart.. and just blew me away....

I'm feeling sooooooooo wonderful that i cannot describe to you.... coz this one small gesture of mine.. made a diff to both our lives... and i'm feeling sooooooo high by that... when all i did was just ack that person for being who they were being... :):)....

Blogging!!!

Blogging!!!... the first thing that went thru my mind when someone asked me to open a blog was... NOOOOOOO... and a loooooooot of fear.....After a lot of persuasion.. i finally did open up a blog.. and then i went through one of the weirdest feelings... I stopped writing... ... I used to be this person.. who used to write a lot.. and from the day that I had opened this blog.. i had some kindof a mental block... nothing came to mind.. and nothing looked good enough to make it to the web!!!

Yeah ...I never got the point of blogging... why should I write what i feel and think.. for the world to see.. even people I've never met... like why should I expose myself.. and yeah.. what scared me was.. more abt whether my thoughts would be accepted... n whether they made sense.. like are they the right kindof thoughts..... and after visiting a few peoples blogs... I'm quite impressed by this whole blogging concept... people now are listening to themselves....trusting what they feel.. and feeling no fear in expressing it out....they are now more observant to how they react to things.. and then they voice it out.. open for discussion.. also.. another thing i realized was people start looking around for small small events in their life ... walk in the beach... cleaning up the room... and I find that whole thing just sooo amazing and fun... absolutely... no fears... no holding back... just expressing your thoughts..... that's just BRILLIANT.... really need to say hats off to whoever came up with this blogging concept.... :):)

This can make soooo much of a difference.. it allows others to contribute to your life... as well.. you contributing to others lives... and ever since I realized that... I'm now back into blogging... it such an amazing feeling to be free to expresss yourself... ... it's like as if a whole new world has opened up for me... and I just cant wait to start writing and sharing all those moments that touch my heart...and let them live forever thru this blog

Clean day!!!:)

Hi guys,

Today .. i have no clue why but i'm feeling really high..like on topof the world... . whole day i've been busy.. just cleaning up the house.. setting up the maid's room.. and all.. whole day on my feet..just focussed on cleaning up everything... after a while.. the house seemed to be getting messier n like in a worse condition then it started with .. and then slowly.. removed all that junk... and then realized.. it was soo much fun.. had blasted music.. was dancing..singing.. screaming at times.. and i just loved the whole experience...and

later when i was just sitting in that clean hall.. with the newchair.. was feeling so awesome.. like that environment of clean was soo amazing..it's like standing in the green fields.. and all thats around you is just this vast empty land.. and it's just u the sky and the land beneath.. and u are soo excited by that sense of freedom and space that you are just jumping up and down...

And you know what.. for some strange reason.. i was wondering whether human beings are like that with regards to our feelings... like we keep some stuff suppressed inside ourselves for so long.. and when then time comes to deal with it.. instead of feeling better.. we tend to feel worse n worse.. as we are letting all those suppressed emotions come out.. and then finally when there's nothing left.. all you have is just that total n complete peace and freedom.. and that's sooo exciting.. but yeah.. to get there.. you've got to deal with all those emotions.. n go thru that rocky road.. to get to the greener pastures....

Just wanted to express my feelings... let me know your opinions... on my thoughts!!:)

A Rainy Day....:)

Hmm i had written all tht i was feeling below.. n then was wondering..should I post it or not.. n wondering what thoughts would go thru yourmind.. :):)... Yeah i had that fear abt what you would think...anyways.. since most think i'm crazy anyways.. I've got nothing to lose... so let me just come right out n share this small experience with you...

I was walking home in the rain today... and just loving that experience.. and truly thinking how wonderful the world looks after it's rained.... the sounds of the rain drops.. as you walk by... the cool breeze in your face... the way.. it enhances everything around you... the color of the leaves... the color of the flowers... the water droplets on the petals and leaves... the sounds of the car tyres on the wet roads... birds all sticking together under a small shelter... waiting for when the rain would stop and they can spread their wings n fly... wow man.. it's totally an amazing experience...to take a slow walk with nature.... god has created soooo many beautiful things for us.. and we generally don't even spend time appreciating it... we are always walking fast... always in a rush ...either to work... or home.. or for lunch... or on the way back.... how many times do people really take a slow walk on their way home appreciating this beautiful world created for us....
Ahhh on days like this.. i truly wish to be.. just sleeping on the grass... feeling the chill of the air... feeeling wonderful as each rain drop falls on my face.. the smell of freshness in the air..... is totally awesome.... and sometimes i wonder why I used to take something sooo beautiful for granted... yeah... as time goes by.. i feel like people tend to take a lot of things for granted.. n stop appreciating the beauty of it... friends... family... children...relationships... we spend sooo much time looking ahead.. that we never stop for one moment to appreciate what we truly have... and HUG it with all our heart and say THANKS... for being there... for giving me all this.... joy n happiness that i'm experiencing....

Yeah today i just wanted to scream to myself... like i was over-whelmed with the life i have.. and felt like whatever i was feeling was bursting from my heart... I truly wanted to acknowledge all the people that have contributed so generously to me.. and all that i've become all that i've grown from my experiences in life....

So next time.. maybe when you are walking home.. just try it out.. for once.. instead of looking at the watch or at the pavement.. look up and see the world.. and the beauty of it... the way people behave..the sky.. the clouds.. and just see how you feel after that smallwalk... ? I truly love it.. makes me feel all HIGH ... just thoughtI'd share my experience with you.. :)